The Journey of a Lifetime

So we arrived in Calgary to blistering heat and had nowhere to stay so spent about 2 hours trying to find a room. Because of the stampede it was really busy and although I had already booked us a bed for the two days of the stampede we had to pay about 130 bucks for one night in the Econo Lodge. It was a nice room so I suppose that was something. The next day we decided to fly to Vancouver and spend a week there before heading back to Calgary for the stampede.

Downtown Vancouver was a very popular place for the homeless so you had to be careful at night but luckily there were a couple of bars right on our doorstep, irish bars they are everywhere. We stayed in the Same Sun backpackers supposedly the No.1 backpackers, let me tell you it was a dump and we had to go up 3 flights of stairs but luckily recruited some chap to carry our bags. Our room was not great and it had cost us 60 bucks and was certainly not worth the money, but we were stuck for now.

Stanley Park - this is a lovely place near the harbour. It has a free shuttle, three beaches, a Totem Pole Park and Aquarium, cafe's, a lookout point for the world's highest suspension bridge, picturesque views of Vancouver, a kid's playground etc etc. It was a really nice day out so we layed on the beach and checked out the local restaurant taking in the views and the sunshine.

We then decided to go on a trip to Whistler but because they messed up our booking there was no room on the bus when we turned up. We were furious as we had limited time there before heading back to Calgary so we checked into the Central Backpackers, which was much nicer and booked to do Whistler on a day trip. We met some really nice people on the bus Kit, Frank, Shereen and Jenny and a Scott all from England. It was a long day but Whistler was beautiful, it was just a shame we only got two hours there before returning home. This is the location being used to hold the 2010 winter Olympics and they are in the process of building a new road to accommodate it for visitors. Because of the limited time there we visited a couple of the hotels, walked around the town and had something quick to eat. Would liked to have stayed there longer but it wasn't meant to be.

Since we had an early morning flight we thought we would save some money on accommodation and camp out in the airport for a few hours. It was very tiring but it saved us some money. We then arrived in Calgary ready for the stampede. Since our hostel was right by the stampede we were able to see the opening parade which was amazing. It was scorching hot and everyone was in good spirits. We checked into our dorm and tried to get our heads down for a bit. We then went to the stampede on the free tram. There was so much to see and do, rides, shows in the Grandstand, concerts. We won teddies and played stupid games acting like big kids. We then found a place called Mavericks where we had some nice food and drink and chatted to the waitresses two of which had been born in England funnily enough. What a small world. It was a really good day out and we planned to try and get tickets for the Rodeo the following day.

The next day we got there early and managed to get rush tickets (seats at the side but in front of a large screen) for the Rodeo. It was fantastic watching the cowboys and cowgirls in action and after seeing them compete against each other for money they then did bull riding too which was brilliant. There was also a red indian that is the world's most famous hoop dancer, it was so clever and the pictures don't really do it justice. This went on for 4 hours in total and neither of us wanted it to end. I can only imagine how exciting the last day was. I think the total prize money for 1.6 million dollars so definately worth a go. When we left the Grandstand it was time for food and drink so we headed off to Mavericks to see our friendly waitresses. Whilst there we got talking to a guy called Paul from Toronto. Since they had the famous hypnotist Terry Stoakes there at that time we bought tickets for the show and sat with some of the girls that worked there. It was brilliant and he told us that he was in Vegas a few weeks before so we knew he must be good. It was hilarious he had them doing all sorts including one guy playing (literally) with a teddy bear and another girl acting out an orgasm everytime he said a certain word. It was so funny and right up our street on the warped sense of humour stakes haaaaaaa. I was then feeling wild so I went on the sling-shot ride. You sit in an egg shaped thing and two wires flip you in the air. It was great and the guy working on the stand came in the egg with me. It was 35 bucks mind you how expensive but worth it. We finished off the evening with a slice of pizza and watched some fireworks as we left the grounds. This was one of our highlights and we would love to come back and go to the stampede next year.

The next day we got the Greyhound bus to Banff as we were doing a trip to the Rockies the next day. Luckily that night we stayed in a dorm with some really nice girls another Irish lass called Aisling, Shae from Oz and Anne-Maria from Quebec and Tessa from Denmark. We sat drinking and chatting which passed the time as we had already been into the town for dinner to investigate.

We then boarded the Moose Bus for a 3 day trip to the Rockies. Funnily enough there was Shereen, Frank, Jenny and Kit that had been on our Whistler trip plus a few other new recruits like Steve from England, Lucas and Martina from Switzerland and Todd from Oz and Emanuelle from Quebec oh and mad Mike from Ireland who agreed to jump in Lake Louise even though you are not supposed to go in the water (see pic). We had such a laugh and saw so many beautiful lakes and views, climbed a mountain to see a glacier (which nearly killed us I might add). That night we stayed in a lodge in Athabasca Falls in Jasper. These were literally log cabins with bears roaming around although luckily we never saw any on the grounds. That night Steve cooked up a big chilli for us all and we drank ourselves silly. Little did we know until we got there that we were all sharing the same mixed dorm, there were no showers and the toilets were literally one you sit on and it drops to the ground. You had to brush your teeth in the kitchen sink and whilst eating dinner that night some Asian guy was cleaning his falses in the sink, how grim is that there is a time and a place. This made me heave, it was so grim and everyone was really laughing but agreeing how disgusting it was. You were not allowed to wear shoes in the main house and you had to make your own beds, clean up everything behind you. I am suprised the woman didn't want us to paint the bloody place actually she was very bossy the old bag. I could not wait to get out of there. The funny thing was that in the middle of the night I woke up thinking someone had their hands around my throat and wandered out into the woods to the toilet, luckily Karen come and found me I think I was almost sleep walking. Luckily a grisly didn't get me ha. Frank got up in the middle of the night and walked into the wall because he could not find the door and me, Karen and Kit all went to bed with the giggles which was annoying for everyone else. We all laughed about it the next day on the bus, it was really funny and kind of made the trip.

The next day we did more sightseeing and headed back to Banff where we then had to share a 9 bed dorm with 7 guys. We knew them all so at least it helped. We all then went out for dinner to the local pub and had a good ole drink and a laugh. The next day some of them reboarded the bus and went onto Vancouver whilst we stayed put for a week. So we walked around the town, went to the pictures, went on the internet and bumped into Steve so ended up in the pub with him getting drunk again. Banff is really lovely and beautiful and we both agreed we could live there. It was one of the nicest parts that we visited. On our final day we went up in the cable car to Sulphur Mountain it was so high but lovely. We then went to the Hot Springs sat in the sun drinking and taking in the breathtaking views of the area. A great day out for families and friends, what a lovely town this was.

We then decided that because it was so expensive in Canada and that we had now been to most of British Columbia and Alberta we would head back to LA for a well deserved rest before going home.

So after a 10 hour flight we arrived safely in LA. After not being there since I was 11 (no sarcy comments please people)it seemed quite strange. On arrival at customs we realised that we had arrived on the same day that we had left Fiji (strange or what) but since I just didn't think about crossing the equator and the time change I had booked our hostel for the following night. Luckily they took pity on us and we managed to get a dorm bed in the same place.

Well, I can honestly say it wasn't the best place, just up the road from Venice Beach (which was something) just off Washington Boulevard, local to bars, shops and restaurants at least we managed. That night we met Sony and Chris from Austria who were two of our room mates, but being us we had to explore the local bars so hardly even saw them that night. We had however, been told that Sunday was a good day to go to Venice Beach as all the locals were out in their splendour and boy was they. It was like one large freak show but highly amusing. There was an old boy dancing with no shirt on and just shorts - nice look, do you have a license for that weapon I thought ha. There was an old girl in a long gold larmay cape - Wonder Women eat your heart out - then again I did actually wonder if she was a women ha. As we watched the locals it was so funny so we just sat there drinking wine and agog with amusement at the locals. Luckily the bar we had taken root in supplied bright red blankets so we snuggled up nicely and watched the sun set. Very entertaining. That night on return back to the ranch, we had already moved into our double ensuite room, but I had somehow lost the key. Since the guy on duty was liviing in a van in the garage, you know, like you do the peasant, we knocked and asked if he could let us in our room. He would not get his lazy arse out of bed so sent his asian girlfriend to take over his supposed duties. She did try and help but was unable to find the right key for our room and told us she was sorry but we would have to sleep in the lounge that night. "I don't think so." I said "We have not paid 60 dollars to be sleeping on a couch." I really lost it and went upstairs turned the handle of our door and smashed the door down. It is not as bad as it sounds I did break some of the frame but because I had turned the handle did not break the lock. It did however cost us 100 bucks the next day to fix but I was not sleeping on the couch for anyone. The next day we began so trips which were fab. We also had a handwriting analysis, which we both agreed was very accurate - how scary.

The next day we changed accommodation and had a really nice room in the Jolly Roger Motel, so it was really nice to have somewhere nice to stay for 2 nights before heading off to Vegas.

The next day we went to Disneyland - the home of Mickey and Minnie. It was a bit of a chore to get there on buses and trains but once we arrived we were welcomed to the land of make believe. We took a wet and wild luge ride which was like a roller coaster in the dark and then soaked you on the way out which was fun. That I think was the only ride we really had to queue up a long time for, but well worth it. We then went on a mini train roller coaster thing and that was a right laugh. Other than that as you will see from the pics, we walked round and just took in the sights and the gift shop. It was a really hot day and lovely to be back there after so long.

We then did a 3 Day Trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon - We were so chuffed to find out that we could do this trip for not extortionate money. So off we set with our new irish friends Grania and Maureen on a 3 day trip. There was a full bus but we had a great guide and had a real laugh and on route also met Jenny from Sydney who I might add is a make-up artist for the cast of Home and Away and Emma from Melbourne who is soon to be coming to London to live and work. It was so hot but we all mucked in and had fun.

Our first stop was the Hoover Dam - 726ft tall. 96 people died creating this historic site. There is a memorial garden in honour of the people that died there. This is a highly secured area due to the potential threat it posses following the 9/11 disaster in New York.

Lake Meade - beautiful and picturesque - the pictures say it all.

Las Vegas - WOW - what a place. I have never seen so many hotels in one place and so many lights. It was 100 degrees in the night and although being a dessert, was a real touch of class. All the high rollers were out in force, oh to have money I thought. That night we just stayed in our local bar/casino at the Super 8 Motel and chatted to a lovely guy called Paul who was from Chicago. We then crashed out as we were so tired.

The next day it was up and out at 6.30am ready to head off to the Grand Canyon. We were all really excited. On route we saw Bedrock City, the home of the Flintstones. Fred, Barney,Wilma and Betty ole Pebbles and Bam Bam. Unfortunately we only saw the outside and did not have time to visit it properly. The weather was looking a bit wet so on arrival to the Canyon, we were told that they had cancelled the flights. We were so upset, but our lovely guide Nick made sure that he took us to the Canyon to get pictures and walk around. Luckily for 5 of us we managed to get a helicopter flight in the end and flew over the Grand Canyon. By this time the weather had cleared and they took a slightly different route to avoid the storms. It was the most amazing thing ever. We were so pleased that we had been given the chance to see this seventh wonder of the world - we would recommend it to anyone.

It was an amazing day but a long one so when we arrived back in Vegas at 9pm we showered and arranged to party with Jenny and Emma. So we met them for a meal and hit some of the casino's to see just what it was all about. The MGM Grand, The Ellis Island Casino, The Monte Carlo, The Escalibur and New York New York and for the piste de resistance The Belagio. Well needless to say that we got back at 6am that morning (just us two) and had 3 hours sleep before reboarding the bus back to LA. Nothing changes ha.

Once back in LA we went back to Iain's place (our original haunt on arrival to LA). Luckily we stayed in our double room again and all was well, the door had been fixed and everyone was happy. So we went for some dinner and repacked our case ready to fly to Canada the following day.

We had decided beforehand to stay 2 weeks in Fiji so luckily when we arrived to baskingly hot weather with a steel band playing on our arrival we were happy with our decision.  We were then gifted with the local beads.  Everyone (including the men) were adorned with a flower in their hair (even though it is illegal to be gay there).  They were very helpful and friendly and since we had been trying for so long the day before to secure a hostel booking I made another one to be on the safe side.  However, when logging on at the airport I found a confirmation from Tubakula.  Anyway, what with being up all night and feeling so tired and now really hot and sweaty, when we came through the airport and saw a sign with Karen's name we just automatically loaded our luggage with our chap and off we went.  How will you get to Tubakula then. he said "Where are you taking us then."" I said.  It turned out that he had not received our cancellation so we were in the wrong bus haaaaaaaaaaaa.  We then spent some time with the rep in order to rectify this and then nearly got on another wrong bus ha.  Luckily we got there in the end and met a lovely older couple from Melbourne, so of course for the next hour we bored them with our stories of Oz.

Ok so we arrive safely amid the sniffer dogs and body search process exiting Oz to arrive at a haunted hostel called Cokers in Christchurch. At this point we didn't know it was haunted I might add. The weather is cold and it's raining. Oh goody always a winner. On this dark and dingy night we walk around the town to investigate the nightlife and talent. Hmmm to our dismay we were at a bit of a loss with both and within an hour of arriving in a bar (are you surprised) we get approached by some pissed old boy that is celebrating his birthday - alone I might add - go figure. After tolerating him for sometime I verbally abused him (he did deserve it with his rudeness) and he leaves. I do hope things improve ha. Later that night after walking around town, we met some lovely Scotty guys from Inverness. They reminded us so much of our girls from Inverness they said the same ole crap they did too ha. But seriously, there was laughter all the way with Terry, James and Scott. A real crazy bunch who lick toads and wear kilts to a footy match - you know like you do. Oh and did I mention that when they first came over they were so drunk (James and Scott anyway) that they made up all these stories and poor Terry had to sit and listen to them and cringe. We obviously were none the wiser so believed what they said you know like you do ha. We then headed back to our hostel bar to check out the situ to find that there was some local singing group there having some rendition of "He's got the whole world in his hands." We obviously then had to drown this out with alcohol and in the process got to meet some of the bar staff and colleagues. Dave the Rave, James, Steve, Adrian and Cullum, who I might add, also confirmed, as did James, Scott and Terry that the hostel was in fact haunted. Nice - ahhhhhhhhhh. Luckily for us it was not in our block - result. The next day we walked around town, went on the Tram tour (yawnnnnn) then looked into the possibility of the Magic Bus tour around the South and North Islands. We didn't really hit the town much here as it was cold and we were tired but it was still quite a nice place to be.

The next day we began our 12 day tour of the islands:

Greymouth - we took the Trans Scenic Train to Greymouth. The views were fantastic and we met two really lovely Ozzie women on the train which made the journey much nicer. They were visiting from Sydney so we had lots to talk about and share. In the town itself we stayed at Noahs Ark, would you believe in the "Pigs Room." This was a quite new hostel very clean and in a good location. Since only being there for one night we managed to walk around the town, which was very quiet and wet then had a really nice BBQ locally. All in all ok. The best thing about this hostel was that they forgot to ask us to pay for our room so we celebrated with a nice McDonalds for brekky instead ha.

Franz Josef - This was the first day on the Magic Bus tour. Our driver Mungi arrived with full dreads delicately tucked into a floral bandanna - a good start I thought. The journey was fine and luckily there were many stops on route although an ideal way to get indigestion I must say. By this time we had met a nice chap called Stewart from Cornwall who seemed to be our new recruit bless him. The hostel we stayed in here was really nice called Chateau Franz and the views were amazing. Us 3 Musketeers then set off to do the Glacier walks and as you will see from the pics it was quite spectacular. Although not braving the elements of the Glacier climb, we felt happy that we had made an effort to at least reach the bottom. Since we both were still recovering from foot injuries we didn't feel the urge to spike up readily with pick axe and climb to the top - boring I know but I can definately live with the decision. We then updated the blog in the Internet Bus and had cocktails till the wee hours. Not a bad night at all and plus we were all tired bears after our little Glacier expedition.

Queenstown - The next day Mungi was back to collect us all. By this time my new case was weighing over 25kg so he knew who I was for sure. We set off with Stewpot in tow for our 10 hour trip. It was cold here but very beautiful with scenic views of the town and mountains. It reminded me of a postcard. The next day we took a day trip to Milford Sound which was out of this world. It was a very long day but we made some lovely stops and got wonderful scenic views from the boat trip we did. Pinewood Lodge was a bit out of the way but once we found the shotcut was happy to go into the town to explore. With our new mate in the lead we went for a nice steak meal and a few beverages to follow. So visited the Casino for a few cheeky games on the Pokies, checked out all the local bars and then on our final night went up in the cable car to the top of the mountain and had a lovely meal at the restaurant, whilst watching complete fools bungy off the side. Certainly not for the faint hearted. The views as you will see were amazing and it was definately one of my highlights. Unfortunately out stay was out of season so it was relatively quiet there although lots to do and see.

Dunedin - On Top Backpackers was very central. It was a very quiet town but another compulsory stop which we simply made the most of. So that afternoon (under protest on my behalf I might add) we visited the Cadburys Chocolate Factory to do the tour. To my absolute horror we had to remove jewellery and wear hair nets which is so not a good look, especially for me as I don't do hats ha. We then went for a nice meal and a few beers back in our hostel bar - all very tame really.

Lake Tekapo - what can I say. This was another highlight. The water on this Lake is pure aqua blue and stunning with the mountain backdrops. It was obviously such a lovely place that the Magic Bus decided to breakdown there. We then had to be rescued by shuttle and taken to our hostels which luckily were only 1/2 an hour away. That night Magic bought us all drinks in the pub to apologise for any inconvenience. However, we all managed to get totally off our heads and had a real laugh and that is when we really all bonded you might say. Cuddles (Dave) the bus driver, Irish girls, Aisling, Phillippa and Catrina, Manchester Laura, Somerset Lisa etc etc. What a lovely bunch. The next day and most feeling rather worst for wear, we again set off for Christchurch. We stayed at Base this time (not the haunted hostel). Karen was not well this night so was only out for a short while but I ended up out and about with the bus gang and got totally ruined. Luckily I just managed to make the bus the next morning ready for all the stories of my madness the night before. Apparently at one point I was trying to do the crab in the pub, but being under the influence, collapsed and landed on my head - still I think most of you will agree that happened at birth anyway ha. One lovely German girl we met had a piercing on her lip which I thought (for some weird reason) was a piece of plastic so I tried to flick it off. She flinched and told me that it was actually a lip piercing ha. Kellie strikes again. She also had several piercings around her neck which luckily Karen had warned me about before trying to remove those too. Ha I don't change.

Kakoura - This was a small town but our Dusky Lodge hostel was a nice location. That afternoon we went Whale Watching with Aisling and another guy Andrew. Unfortunately, we couldn't quite capture the essence on film as they move so quickly but you will see from the snaps that it was very real. That night we partied locally and would you believe, out of the blue James and Terry appeared in the bar (the Inverness chaps) they were there for the weekend doing quad biking (so nicknamed them George and Mildred as James the ginger one had to ride in the side car) ha nice look. So as usual ended up drinking with them till the wee hours - bless it was so nice to see them again the lying toads. During this rendezvous we discovered to our dismay that James had told us porkies on our first meeting. It was so funny we all roared with laughter as he couldn't even remember what he had said, so when we reminded him of his stories he was cringing with embarassment which was highly amusing for us.

Nelson - The Paradiso Backpackers had good elements but the room we had was minimal and a bit cramped, but we managed. We then went into town to buy Karen a new suitcase as her bag had split that morning. We then saw the final of American Pop Idol then collected Aisling one of the lovely Irish lasses we had met on the bus and took her to the pub. We then went on the party bus at the bottom of our hostel garden for a night cap where I played the guitar and they all covered their ears. By 2am we were tucked up in our uncomfortable beds again. The next day Aisling nearly missed her bus the dozy mare and we had to part company as we were heading to the North Islands. We got the bus to Picton then boarded the ferry for 3 hours but it was like a big cruiseliner so the bar was grand.

Wellington - We arrived at our hostel in the pooring rain. Lodge in the City wasn't the best but it was ideally located so we managed. Molly Malones was our new home for two days nearly, plus we did manage to have a great Indian meal at an award winning restaurant, which made a nice change. It was so strange as just up the road was a large bungy swing right in the middle of the main road - how odd. The next morning the lock on our door broke so we had to change rooms, but luckily only had to move a few doors away. We headed off to the local museum which was very strange but interesting. Then onto the cable car up the mountain, went to the Planetarium, walked around the Botanical Gardens, then back down the mountain to Queens Wharf for a few beers. It was a really nice day and this time the weather held out nicely. That night we had a big meal in Molly's and drank the night away.

Napier - Archies Backpackers was really nice and luckily we were on the ground floor- Our cases weighed a ton. We walked around the town then along the waterfront, had a nice meal then saw the The Poseidon - a really good action packed film with a real hunk in.

Rotorua - this was a really nice town with quite a few places of interest to visit. We stayed at a fairly new backpackers - luckily on the ground floor which was really central to the town. It was called Treks and for once the driver had recommended somewhere sensible. We wandered around to see Lake Rotorua then that evening went on the Maori Experience. Nuta (our mental bus driver) collected us and was amusing all the way. We then had a presentatation and a quick video of the owners who were both motorbike fanatics would you believe. We then reboarded the bus onto the Maori Village. On route Nuta had us learning the local greetings, telling us that our bus was a canoe and we were his warriors. We then had to appoint a chief who would receive a leaf from the Chief Warrior. At no time were we allowed to smile, poke our tongue our or laugh whilst the warrior ceremony was taking place as we would have been killed - nice evening out I thought. Once the war dance was over we were taken into the village to meet and greet the other Maori people. We were shown how to weave skirts and make spears (always handy) then we proceeded on to watch their show. They danced and sang songs (they had very good voices too) then more war dances followed. We then went inside for a lovely hungi meal (this is cooked for hours in the ground) which is very traditional. Following the meal, we were graced with the Huka dance (very well know at rugby matches). Both Chiefs of each bus had to join in and it was hilarious let me tell you. We then left on the bus where Nuta remembered everyone's name, sang songs from every country, told jokes about us all and said different sayings in every language. It was so funny. He then made us all sing "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes" and literally drove around the roundabout 5 times whilst we all sang it. Highly amusing and a really fun evening. The next day we went to the mud pools and Lady Constance Know Geyser. The Geyser was originally discovered by inmates (formally a prison ground). Whilst washing their clothes one morning the Geyser erupted so they built around it to make it a local landmark. After years of experimentation they discovered that by adding a small tablet of detergent, they could make the Geyser foam and then erupt. This is now a daily ritual that is performed at 10.15 each day for all to see. It was really quite strange as you will see from the photos. From here we then visited the Thermal Wonderland. This was a number of craters and thermal pools of all shapes, sizes and colours of which were all spectacular. Another exceptional trip well worth seeing.

Mount Monganui - By the time we arrived here there was not much time to do anything so once we checked into our hostel, Pacific Coast, we headed into town for some nice food. We had the best meal then popped into a few bars along route. The seafront was quite nice but again got there a bit later unfortunately. Apparently this is the most popular spot to buy or rent a place in New Zealand and at least 12 families are relocating or moving there each week. Some people are able to rent their place out for up to $1000 a day, quite impressive I think you will agree. You can climb Mount Monganui in about 45 minutes (should you feel the urge) but luckily it was dark and we didn't have time ha. Nice but not somewhere I thought was that impressive.

Auckland - Unfortunately on arrival in Auckland to our hostel the Fat Camel (don't stay there ever) we were still trying to secure our accomodation in Fiji so spent most of the day on the net trying to get organised. We then went for a nice meal, watched the All Blacks win the ruggers then met some mad people in the pub, Rennie (dreadlock man), Dean, Taffy and Becks. How crazy were they. We had a right laugh with them though and stayed with them to watch England beat Paraguay. Since our flight was at 7am we then went straigt to the airport. How tired were we. Fiji here we come.

Ok so we landed in Sydney and took a cab to our hostel which was in Clovelly (20 mins outside of town). On arrival we met Chuck (one of the owners). A nice chap, reminded me of a garden knome. We then met Joey and two Marks who were long term residents of the hostel. A nice bunch who I knew we would have a giggle with. They immediately took to us two babes.

The next day we went exploring. We had wanted to do the Coogee to Bondi beach walk but was still in my cast so put it off. We therefore walked down the hill to find the lovely Gordon's Bay. The weather wasn't the best but we managed to get a hour of rays and some nice snaps too. We then discovered the Clovelly Hotel which done really lovely food and cheap drink. We ended up in here most days for a swift half or two.

The hostel was friendly and there were several Irish girls. Two Claire's and Lisa from Northern Ireland. One night we went clubbing with Lisa and some of her friends. We had goon on the balcony beforehand and she was pie eyed within the hour. She went home early and we stayed for a while in Coogee but came home relatively sober after seeing West Ham lose the FA cup.

With the weather still very temperamental we took a bus into the City to investigate. Here we saw two great filsm. Failure to Launch and Two for the Money - both highly recommended. We had a few drinks, checked out the shops then headed back to the ranch.

Marcia and Chuck were the owners of the hostel and made everyone very welcome. Marcia said that the new name for backpackers with wheely cases were flashpackers. I ended up buying one as my bag was falling to bits so I am now a flashpacker ha. We had planned to move into the City but with the prices so high and the fact that we had now made friends where we were, we decided to stay put for the rest of the time there.

After yet another visit to the hospital for an xray they referred me to the fracture clinic. Yippee finally my cast was taken off. It felt so strange and I walked like a penguin for a few days but luckly it is on the mend now.

Coogee Bay was a nice little place. A small beach but very clean and cosy. With bars, restaurants and Internet cafes there was plenty to see and do. A popular place with the young and old.

Manley Beack was lovely. We took the ferry across from the City giving us lovely views of the Bridge and the Opera House as well as Darling Harbour and other lovely sites. It was a nice town with a cinema, cafes and bars. The beach was lovely and quite long but the wind was so strong on this day it was too cold to sunbathe for long. Definately a nice place though.

Bondi Beach was not what we had expected. For one it was a lot smaller than we had imagined. Although quite pretty it didn't jump out and grab us. Can you believe that 50,000 people have been known to be on that beach on Christmas Day, god knows how.

As you can imagine we checked out all the local shopping centres which I have to say were quite impressive and yes, as usual we made more purchases and had to send yet another two parcels home - like you do.

We then took a day trip to the Blue Mountains and Karoomba. This was a great day out.

The Blue Mountains were fantastic and luckily the weather had turned around by this time so we had hot sunshine all day long. Our guide on this trip was quite arrogant and everyone thought the same. He then realised he had been a bit rude so changed his attitude but noone left him a tip ha. After doing a short walk around the Blue Mountains we then all got the chance to throw a boomerang. Well being the Boomerang Babes it was only polite now wasn't it.

Featherstone National Park - one of the nicest parks we have been to so far and the animals, as you will see from the photos are very friendly and soooooooo cute. Definately worth a visit.

We then went to Three Sisters with a great view from Echo Point. The story goes that the local Witch Doctor was a bout to cast an evil spell on Three sisters so their father turned them to stone before he could do so. He then turned himself into a bird so he could fly away. Unable to then reverse this spell he turned himself into stone so he could be with his daughters. Very sad indeed.

The Steepest Railway - this was mad. You practically stood up in this open air carriage. It went horizontally downwards into a dark tunnel but within minutes you were at the bottom. Strange but amusing to see some of the peoples faces. We wanted it to go on longer but at least we got some snaps of the experience. On this trip we met a lovely couple from Hawaai. Sarah (originally born in England) and hubby Robert. We spent most of the day with them taking the pee out of the guide as he was so annoying. We then took the cable car back to the top of Karoomba and rejoined the bus.

The Telstra Olympic Stadium - very impressive. You can even go there for day trips, use the olympic size pool, run around the track, use the trapeze and all sorts. A great fun day out for the athletic among you. Apparently when the olympics were on all transport was free if you showed your olympics ticket. This worked well and there was no conjestion with people arriving and leaving the stadium.

On our final night us and the boyz had a farewell BBQ at the ranch. They then took us two down the Clovelly Hotel for a drink or two. Then four of us went to a club. We got home about 4am and was going to stay up as the shuttle was picking us up at 7.10am. We had set out alarms but low and behold the next minute Karen was in the shower, I woke up and realised it was 7.05am. Shittttttttttttt. I lept up like a coiled spring. We finished our packing in record time got dressed and hailed a taxi to the airport already having missed our shuttle. We arrived in time to catch our flight to New Zealand. Phewww. We are so crap we really must invest in an alarm clock ha.

Ok so off we went back down to Airlie Beach to Magnums for one night before gathering with our group to head for the lovely Whitsundays. As we patiently waited for the rep to explain the plan of action we met a nice chickie called Jemma from Plymouth. The poor women was then stuck with us for the duration of the trip but we all had a good laugh. We finally boarded our catamaran at 3.30pm, we then set off in the rain to South Molle Island where our adventure begun.

The grounds were beautiful and just next door to our bar was a family bar that we were almost told NOT to go in - purely in case we got drunk and upset anyone. In our bar however, it was party and drinking games. Everyone was drunk that night but it was a great laugh. By this time we had met two lovely girls from Ireland, Gail and Irene and another Londoner Emily. We also had a Londoner Carly and a Scotty in our dorm called Louise. Even more mental were two Canadian chicks Natalie and Christina who were forever pissed even at 8am in the morning most days. In full force we bopped the night away in the bar. I then met a guy called Matt from London who I happened to have a boogie and a smooch with. Karen and Jemma decided in their wisdom to go for a dip in the pool the drunken bums ha.

The next day as usual the crew turned up late so the boat left late again to our dismay. However, we were rewarded with bright hot sunshine for the whole day so were able to swim and sunbathe on the beautiful Whitehaven Beach - magnificent. Some also did snorkelling around the barrier reef which they said was amazing. That night the usual way we all got drunk again, played stupid games and the like. That night Karen fell out of her top bunk onto the wooden floor. How she didn't break anything I will never know. It was a true vision ha.

On day 3 again the crew were late so off we went. With the weather finally brightening up we stopped for more snorkelling. We then spent the next two hours making our way back to Airlie Beach. It was a great trip but the crew were a bit of a let down really as they crammed 80 people on one boat so there wasn't much room to sunbathe and no-one played any party games. Other than that it was fine. That night us girlies met up with Jemma for a nice Steak then went to the free champagne reunion party at Moroccos where we met up with Gail and Irene. We then went clubbing till the wee hours and was on Jemma partrol since she was pissed as a fart and fell over after her pole dancing expedition ha (it was great for it not to have been me for a change I was having a night off ha). She was really funny but unfortunately lost some money and her phone so she was not a happy bunny the next day bless her. As usual Karen and I got home at 6am after being turfed out of Mama Africas by the bouncers as the others had already gone home - bloddy lightweights. Well it was free champers for most of the night so it would have been rude to have left early now wouldn't it. When we got home Karen went to McDonald's but when she returned I was snoring so after trying to force feed me a egg and bacon burger she gave up and passed out too.

The next morning, we were supposed to check out by 10am but we had slept in and still not packed. The next minute we were woken by Irene banging on the door at 11.30am. Get up you lazy cows. Well we shot out of bed and flew around the room like women possessed. We finally checked out about 12.30pm but luckily was not charged. Phewww. We then set off to the lagoon to sunbathe with Irene and Gail who found it highly amusing that we were not up on time. We are so crap. Luckly the girls let us leave our luggage in their room all day as they were upstairs to us. They then waved us off as we left for Sydney airport.

I think the pics below say it all..............it was a real laugh - we were lucky to have met such a lovely group of girls

From Hervey Bay we then boarded the bus up to Airlie Beach (Whitsundays). Lucklly we were not sailing for a few weeks due to my foot but we spent the night there anyway to break up the bus journey. Magnums was not the best hostel that's for sure although it did have it's own bar and nightclub. We had to get our own room as I was in no fit state to bunk in a dorm so the next day we set off for Cairns. Unfortunately, due to the previous cyclones our bus had to termiante at Townsville where we had a nice cheap hostel room of our own due to the driver calling ahead on my behalf and met two nice girls Katherine and Michaela who we had a nice meal with. We then hit the town and had a few light beverages and and usual I was approached by an old boy who decided to tell me all about his war wounds and how he acquired them - oh lucky me.

The following day we set off for Cairns to meet the Scotty girls who were iminently awaiting our arrival bless. The rain poured down and the creeks were flooded but Joe our mental bus driver managed to get us there unscathed. He was hilarious the bus driver so it made our journey all the more pleasant. We finally arrived in Cairns where Lou met us to help with the bags. We then hit PJ O'Briens for a few swift halves.

The girls had managed to arrange for us to stay in a lovely flat share just round the corner from them which we loved. Luckly for us we had some great roomy's Roger, Yvette and Louise who we had a really good laugh with. We were very lucky.

The weather here was wet and dull most of the time but after a few days I managed to get a new cast (bright pink fibreglass and waterproof I might add) so then I was a happy bunny and able to get around ok without crutches. Horraahhhhh. Within a couple of days of my new footwear the girls entered me into a pole dancing competition would you believe. How I got up on the stage I don't know. I got to the final but got pipped at the post. The girls were disappointed I didn't win the $100 bar tab - oh well excuse me ha.

On arrival home one night there was a dog that took a shine to us. Karen was worried that it was a stray but it looked very healthy and loved. I left Karen outside petting the sweet thing. In the meantime, I was in the bathroom and a big spider crawled up my leg. So I crushed the dam thing with my club foot and flushed him down the loo. The next minute this great dane walks into the bedroom and licks my face. "You can't have that dog in here" I said. So I called the local dog people and they said to leave him tied up. We didn't I told Karen to let him go so he could go back home. The next day we saw a dog in the back of a van and Karen convinced it was the same dog told me he had smiled at her. I immediately went to the local chemist to collect her medication the crank. Whatever next, she does worry me ha.

Kris one of Jen's work buddy's kindly invited us over to play pool and watch footie. As the goon (wine) kicked in the volume got louder and louder and the party commenced. Kris was in full footie supporters kit with black and red style. He even had a black and red cue which I managed to lodge into the fan above the pool table and snap completely in half. Kellie strikes again - she really cannot be trusted. Fortunately he didn't seem to mind too much and didn't try and strangle me ha. We then went for a nice meal at Jenny's restaurant (Casa de Ming as she called it) for a nice meal, although Jenny's meal was forgotten even though she works there - nice.

Jen, Lou, Karen and I then took the Duck Adventure tour. This is a Duck mobil that crosses both land and sea. As we launched into the water it was a really weird feeling. And of course in usual scottish twit style Jen and Lou drove the Duck and were kindly rewarded with a certificate of merit - god those girls just excel in talent ha.

As the weather gradually brightened up we decided to visit the lovely Kuranda. We took the scenic train up the mountain (which we slept through the majority of). Barron Falls was a wonderful experience a beautiful waterfall cascading down the centre of a mountain. Very impressive. We had lunch, walked around the town and had our tarot cards read. We would have gone in the Koala sanctuary and butterfly park but there only so many you can see so we hit the pub instead.

The journey back was very picturesque as we took the Skyrail (cable car). Wow what a view. Definately a worthy day out.

For most of the time we were out boozing it up with the girls and their roomy Katrina. The hot dog man knew us well as I continuously dropped pineapple all over the floor and had a pink leg. Being the tart that I am I acquired some black and silver glitter leg warmers to cover my cast on evenings out to match my relevant outfits - you know like you do ha.

A Thursday night was free champers for the girls so who were we to refuse such an invite. We were all pie eyed when we left and then of course hit PJ's. Some irish guy there was trying it on with all the gals but they didn't fall for it. Then there was me, the most pissed and so I snogged him. I then thought he was stalking me and hid behind the girls completely forgetting that I had infact just snogged him. Another gem of a night out ha. He was a real class act to with a fag stuck behind his ear. I do get em.

Jen and Lou were always full of mischief. Lou had already had probs with one of her bosses not paying her wages so I had a row with her boss and she threatened to call the police so I told people in the restaurant not to eat there, then Jen went in all polite and got no joy so she had a row with her too - what a delightful women NOT. Lou has now seen a solicitor. I hope she gets closed down.

Would you believe that Karen had also hurt her right foot so off we went to the hospital again. She had damaged her Pulsar (the arch of her foot) and had to go on anti-inflamatories which she was not allowed to drink on. Yeah right like that was gonna happen. Luckily she is recovering nicely. What a pair of hop-a-longs we are.

Then on our last night, Jen, Lou and Karen decided to try and remove the PJ O'Brien banner from outside. But, they were caught redhanded and the bouncer threatened to call the police. The next night they had to return to apologise but were still banned for one month. Ha PJ's is now no longer their local the loon heads. How funny. You should see the amount of things they have pilfered in their flat - the little tearaways.

We didn't want to leave our little scotty babes but it was time to move on. Things to do and people to see. We had a great time in Cairns with the girls and we hope to see them again soon the ole bags.

As you will see from the pics below, we had a great time and it was madness all the way.

Ok so Brizzy as they call it here is a strange place. For one there is a cathedral that is still being built even after 125 years so don't pop over to see it just yet kids you could be hanging around a while.

We stayed in the Brisbane City Backpacker. A clean but fairly basic hostel. No real atmosphere but we managed to sneak the odd box of goon (wine) onto the verander for a couple of quiet nights in.

On the first night we met a girl called Ingrid a sweet little Candadian girls whose brain we picked due to our impending visit to her world. We then decided to hit the pool hall since Karen is now too a pool hustler and we met a variety of delights a chap called Michael and a Dutch guy called Michelle. So we frashed them at pool then went next door to the backpackers where I met and snogged some 20 something - result. Made me feel a lot better anyway ha.

We were told that Caxton Street was one of the main places to drink so the next night we adorned our glad rags and hit the town. We have come to the conclusion that this was quite rightly named Caxton Street because it really is CACK. For a Friday night you would think that the bars would be buzzing and people would be letting their fun wigs down but no, it was like a ghost town so we decided to call it a night and go back to the ranch for once. One the way home we met some guys from Leeds who smuggled us into their hostel bar next door to find it was closed. So we took the executive decision and went to bed - ALONE I might add you dirty beasts I know what you are thinking ha shame on you.

Since we were staying in a 3 bed dorm we already had company some miserable old witch from Japan who rustled every bloody carrier bag in sight at silly 0'clock whilst Karen and I was trying to get some beauty sleep - how rude.

The following night we were given the pleasure of a 53 year old lady called Linda. What can I say, words fail me really. Since Karen had decided to stay up a bit longer I skipped off to bed to read my book. Oh no Kel, I think not Linda Le Plant was waiting to pounce on the other side of the door with her sexual tails and exploits. I had the full works for 2 hours about her ex-husbands, their money, her sex life and her entire diarised life before Karen decided to return. By this time I had realised that Linda was easy to rev up so I then made Linda tell Karen all the same stories so as not to feel left out. I slept peacefully with a satisfying grin on my face whilst Karen listened and responded to Linda through gritted teeth. It was a magnificent moment trust me. Karen thanked me with a loving blow to the head the next morning at brekky ah bless.

On our final day at the ranch we took a lovely day trip:

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary - the largest Koala sanctuary in the world with over 300 Koalas. This was a very special day and we both held and had photos taken with the Koalas. We then saw a Sheep Dog Show watching Topsy and Benjy round up sheep and generally show off their hard earned skills. Very clever I must say. As we strolled through the park skippy and friends just hopped passed without a care in the world, it was wonderful.

We then reboarded the bus to Mount Coot-tha the highest point in Brisbane to take in the views of the whole city. With 360 degree panoramic views it felt like a different world. The name Mount Coot-tha originates from the aborigines as it means the home of the black honeyless bee. This is where they spent 2 hours per day trekking up the mountain to collect their honey. Like you do.

Southbank - Being the second largest continent of Australia Brisbane has created it's own man-made beach along the South Bank. People congregate here to buy local wears from the numerous market stalls, meet for lunch in the cafes and stroll along the river in the basking hot sunshine. I truly lovely day out for all to enjoy.

The Valley was another place of interest for partying but we didn't manage to grace them with our presence. Maybe next time Brizzy, your loss.

Well where do I start. We arrived in Melbourne to bright sunshine, nice one. Now booking into only our second dorm room experience of a 6 bed dorm. Luckily for us we met the lovely Lindsay from Canada. 20 years old, sweet and friendly. By the time we left she was putting the world to rights - good girl. Another lovely lady we had the pleasure of meeting was our Japanese room mate Chiaki. She was so lovely and sweet and just smiled when she had no understanding of your words which did amuse. We hope to meet up with her in Sydney.

The Melbourne Independent Backpackers based on Elizabeth Street was in the heart of the city by the CBD (Central Business District) so thre were many nice shops etc to keep one amused plus a large new 13 screen cinema just minutes away. From Collins Street it was easy to commute by tram to the well known area of St Kilder. Not a bad beach, lots of bars and cafes' and an amusement park set within a 2 minute walk from the beach with live bands and lots to do for the kids so at least it kept Karen amused. The weather was really hot although we did experience a few days of rain and drizzle to which of course we had to take cover in the downstairs hostel bar. We loved that place, on arrival we were issued beer tokens depending how long you stayed so of course we had to get on the budget wagon and start drinking beer - scary I thought I have enough hairs on my chest already. Ho hum, we must endeavour to be real backpackers.

The staff were so lovely here we felt part of the family and everyone knew us. Since the month of the Common Wealth Games many extra staff were shipped in from other parts of the country to accommodate the excess of 90,000 visitors. Thankfully, we managed to get tickets and saw the women's long jump, men's hurdles, men and women's 800 metres etc etc. The atmosphere was amazing although some idiot responsible for the games had a brainwave to hand out free blow up batons for all the kids to bang together to make a dij a ree do noise. Being surrounded by kids Karen was starting to feel quite violent and so I safely removed her to a white padded chair close by away from the smaller generation. Phew that was close. I have never seen her foam at the mouth before, trust me it wasn't a good look but we survived. To our dismay the stadium was not even full, what a shame. A very worthwhile day out though and an experience not to be missed.

As the time rolled on in Melbourne we continued to meet so many people. Just to name but a few we met a cricket team, an actor, a male escort who wanted us to join him in celebrating his first million (ok then hon we'll have champers). We also met a lovely lady called Corrine from Crystal Palace. The same night we met about 30 cops two of which us three decided to crash test dummy their outfits for a laugh - like you do -see pics), bomb disposal guys, some lovely japanese guys etc etc. Some we will fondly remember are Yoxsu, Young and Tuene who cooked us a fabulous farewell dinner. They were from South Korea but what lovely people. I managed to learn some of the language and in return shared some of my apples and pears cockney rhyming slang which they found highly amusing. We do miss them guys and we are still in touch and hoping to visit them next year.

Two other treasures were Rob (Hertfordshire) and Dion (Aussie) they met through working in a pancake shop but seemed like they had known eachother forever. We often played pool and ended up drinking with them until the small hours althouh younger what a laugh.

Ok newsflash Karen is now a pool hustler I have been teaching her to play so hot pool and she is good now so many a night we have spent playing pool in actual pool halls, supping beer and eating baked beans (ok so the latter part lasted a couple of days but at least we tried ha).

One lovely night in the bar two girls decided to start kissing full pelt on the dance floor. Of course you can imagine the reaction from the crowd within minutes the men were flocking. What a let down to women it was so embarrassing but Karen did seem to be enjoying herself. No seriously all jokes aside, we both looked at eachother in horror and just laughed. You would not believe the misfits here that we have met it is almost like being at home but with a warped twist to the recipe.

Ok so you are thinking ok girls did you actually venture anywhere other than the bar well yes we sure did and here is a brief summary of our adventures.

THE GREAT OCEAN ROAD TRIP

We took a coach trip with our first stop being Bells Beach a very famous surfing dude's haven. Lovely but quite rough currents so only the for bravehearted but a great spot to visit in the sunshine.

Appollo Bay - a small but beautiful town again being famous for its surfing. With lovely bars and side street cafes' a holiday makers haven for a retreat of tranquility.

The 12 Apostles - this place blew us away. As you will see from the pics this is so amazing but you had to be there to really take it in. There are apparently only now 8 Apostles now standing as within millions of years the weather and tides have torn away at the rock formations that create this Australian wonder. Magnificent one of our highlights so far.

London Bridge (is falling down and did) - Ok so a married couple were stranded on the tip of this rock formation when the middle section completely collapsed into the sea. When you look at the pictures you will see that it looks like someone has literally cut it with a knife and the chunk that is missing is so neat. The couple were of course air rescued to safety but when the press approached them for their stories they were very reluctant to talk. The reason being is that they were not married to each other they were having an affair. I am not sure if they ever divorced but it just shows you can't have secrets.

Loch Ard Gorge - 54 people were emigrating from England to Australia so on the eve of their arrival had a party onboard. When the waves reached breaking point the ship overturned and 52 died. One male survivor was able to save an 18 year old girl. For days they clambered up the rocks of the gorge and the man went for help. Needless to say the girl then returned to her family in England and her rescuer died at the wee age of only 42 years old. Very sad but true.

Port Campbell - this reminded us of a lego village. Quaint small architecture, a couple of local cafes' and bistros' but a lovely beach. Not a main Port as such but just the odd fisherman's boat moored to enhance the picturesque views.

PORT MELBOURNE

Not really much to see here other than the main cruise ships that regularly sail in from Tazmania. With Naval cadets working hard on the Port the views were not all bad. Sparce with scenic views and places of interest the local bar was the only real place that we saw.

All in all we both loved our time in Melbourne.

Ok so we arrived in Bangkok at the New World Lodge recommended by Darren and Teresa. Very nice although it stinks in Bangkok big time. Our room was the best thing but we went on Tuk Tuk's, bought some lovely jewellery from the Jewellery Factory, Karen had a dress made from the Venus Clothes Factory. Khosan Road was ok, there are lots of bars and restaurants and shops and stalls so we made quite a few purchases here with it being so cheap. We also invested in larger ruck sacks with wheels which has proved a worthy buy.

We then fly to Koh Crabi which was a lovely place with lots of shops and a nice beach. We had a lovely cottage which this time had a balcony. A quiet place but we went on a 5 island boat trip to Hong Island, Paradise Island, plus a couple of others I cannot think of at the mo. We also went on the James Bond tour, did Kayaking and Elephant trekking which was amazing. The poor elephant had to be hosed down twice after having us on her back ha.

We then got a boat over to Koh Phi Phi which has been our favourite island yet. There was lots to do there and all on our doorstep. We hated our room as it was a cold water shower on the wall with no actual shower cubicle but we were not there much as we met lots of victims and was out on the raz. We met two lovely scottish girls from Inverness who we then went on a day trip with to Koh Phi Phi Ley (the place where The Beach was filmed). A beautiful place yet again. Definately worth a visit although nothing much there.

That night we met Paul and Steve who we had a smooch and a laugh with. The next night we met Steve and Paul (this time two brothers) not the same ones as the night before. Again, a smooch and a laugh and a dip with them ha. We then got back to our room at 8am and by the time we packed our bag managed to miss our ferry. So, unamused we went back to bed for two hours. We then heard a loud bang on the door wake up. It was the hotel man waking us up for the next ferry which luckily we did catch this time. We were like two zombies on tour.

We are now in Phuket and the scottish girls are here too so we are out with them tonight to see a tranny show - could be rather amusing if nothing else. Ok so the show was quite tame a real singing and dancing number although the men really didn't dance very well (the actual men I mean not the lady men). The costumes were very impressive along with their figures but they mimed the whole way through which spoilt it for us. When leaving Louise wanted a pic taken with one of the stars and she was charged 100 bart for the priveledge - bloody cheek. We then went into town to watch the sights of the old boys and english men trying to get hold of Thai girls, it was so grim, we all sat there in amazement. I know that is what goes on here but it still isn't the nicest thing to sit and watch. Another late night but a good one.

We woke up feeling rough today, the water here is not agreeing with us and the heat is very humid so we went to a lovely place called Karon Beach. We then bumped into our scot girls so that was quite funny. Had a quiet night and chilled out.

Today is our last day, the scot girls leave here for Koh Pang Yang then off to Singapore so we will meet up with them in a few days time.

We leave for Koh Samou tomorrow for the Full Moon Party so will keep you posted.

Ok so following another trip in the Barry Sheen mobile back down the mountain we were dropped at McDonalds to await the next Baz Bus. After a 2 hour wait, we then discovered we only had to go 15 minutes up the road so we were the stand in joke on the bus ha. The good news is that we arrived at a lovely place called The Beach House, only to discover it was peeing down with rain the whole day. So, of course in true Karen and Kellie fashion we spent the whole day and night in the bar, entertaining the other guests. Gemma one of the girls that worked there was having a birthday the next day and Martin the guy she was taking over from was leaving so we give it large and had a great time. The following day we took a stroll for some brekky, when I accidentally poured vinegar into my tea thinking it was milk the sarcy waiter said "having a blond moment are we" what a cheek ha. On awaiting for the bus onto Jeffrey's Bay we got talking to a guy called Jeff from Tennissee. What a nice chap and very sarcy just like our good selves. We all boarded the bus to experience another roller coaster ride.

We then arrived at Island Vibe and had a really nice room in the Beach House with patio doors right onto the beach. We had a few drinks in the bar and met Caroline and Paul who were from Croydon who were mental but really nice. As usual we all got drunk and behaved like children. The next day we went shopping and had a few too many and I fell up a sand bank, Karen fell in a bush (and it wasn't even her own one) then when we went to the bar Jeff had mentioned about his photography abilities and when we offered our services he said that I (Kel) did not have an interesting enough face the vermin git. Charming I thought and they said romance was dead ha. When the bus arrived I fell off the stool and Karen and some other guy had to escort me to the bus. I then fell out of the bus on arrive to Port Elizabeth and rolled down the hill, like you do. The bus driver on the way took a shine to me and told me 3 things he liked about me were my eyes, hair and legs, pretty much all the things I hate ha.

Anyway we had another nice room in the Tanaqua Lodge and the guy that run it called Bradley took us both on a day out to the Addo Elephant Park which was fantastic. He also took us on a brief township tour beforehand telling us the story of his family which was very sad.

The next day we left for Cintsa to the Buckaneers Backpackers. A lovely place although 20 min walk to the nearest shops. We had booked a room on a cottage thinking it would be lovely we then discovered the biggest hill that we had to go down to our room and the bar and restaurant were back up the top of it. I think it helped us become fitter as we are now not hyperventilating when going up stairs and hills ha. We then bumped into Caroline and Paul again who were leaving for Coffee Bay so we said farewell. Our room was full of Gechos and bugs but we had been warned that Gechos will eat the bugs and that we had to get used to them. We nodded but were not amused. The beach was ok but a bit rough to swim in and we did have some rain although still very hot. On our last night there we met 3 very amusings SA guys, Ross, Glen and Sean who very kindly kept offering us wacky backy. Thanks but no we said and just laughed. Everyone here smokes it, quite funny really. We had drinks with them and then met Johnny our Baz Bus driver for the next day. In the bar I might add. "Are you really our driver we said?" "Yes, why would I lie?" "Well for one, you are drinking and due to drive us for 9 hours tomorrow and please don't drive like a maniac we said." He laughed and was flying round the bar. The next morning (Karen's birthday) he said "Morning happy birthday." He then explained that it had been water in the beer bottles he was just winding us up. It worked I was a nervous wreck. He then opened a nice bottle of champers for Karen on the bus so we could all celebrate. He was a great laugh and a really nice guy. On route Jeff joined the bus so we had a giggle with him, he was a bit merry which was funny and had burnt his face that day and looked like a garden knome bless him.

On route to Banana Beach we drove through the Trans-sky and saw Nelson Mandelas house. We didn't go in just stopped outside, it was a replica of the place he was inprisoned for the last 4 years of his sentence as he loved it so much. The journey was rather bendy but we survived thankfully.

We then arrived at Banana Beach so decided to hit the bar since it was Karen's birthday. Christ what a bunch, we ended up speaking to a German guy all night so called it an early one. The next morning we met Re (Lisa-Marie) and Ash (Natasha) who were sisters and really lovely girls. We then went to the beach with Re who took us on a mile treck to the local shop then went to the beach for a swim with them both. That night we had a good ole drink, met the neighbours and had fun until one guy started being aggressive so Ben the guy in the hostel that Re was seeing locked us all in the other house that me and Karen were staying just in case this guy started any trouble. All was well and the girls left the next day which was a shame as we were there for another night. We hated it here, it was peeing down most of the day so we took cover in the bar. There was the biggest slug on our curtain so I flicked it into a bin. As I went to run out the double doors to throw it in the garden I realised the double doors were shut so ran straight into the glass window headbutting it bouncing back off then on again with my knee, Karen was too busy laughing to check on my welfare so I ended up with yet another injury - an egg on my forehead - what a classy chick I really am ha.

The next day we left for Durban (the land of flying cockroaches). The bus was only about 2 hours so we were there at a decent hour. We then met a girl called Christine from Ireland she was travelling on her own and shortly off to Jo'berg in a few days time. We had a lovely room but was only there for one night due to our schedule and safety reasons. The next morning we decided to try and change our flight but the airline needed copies of our tickets so we decided to skip going to North Drakensberg and head straight for Jo'berg and stick with our original flight. It took about 10 hours on the bus but it was ok in the end.

On arrival to Gemini Backpackers we bumped into Darren and Teresa who we had met on the bus from the airport when first arriving in SA. They were in the room next door to us. None of us were impressed with our room it was a dump but we just made the most of it. The next day we booked to go to Pilansberg Game Reserve. Another girl called Katie joined us who is from Sydney and who we are keeping in touch with hopefully. Louis was a guide a really nice guy and very informative. We had a great day out seeing Rhino, Wild Dogs, Zebra, Girraffe and allsorts. It was really amazing. That night we all sat drinking and laughing about some of the things that Louis had experienced as a guide . He had a german and dutch women in his car in their 70's. An elephant sat on the bonnet of the car so the women were histerical. One wet herself then the other one needed to poo herself so got out of the car once the elephant had gone and as she squatted down a big kitty (Tiger) jumped up and she nearly had a heart attack. It was really funny when he was telling us and you can just picture it can't you especially when he returned the car with pee and poo all over it ha and a big dent in the bonnet. Oh did I mention the elephant crapped on it too.

We fly from Jo'berg over to Singapore, what a brilliant airline Singapore airlines really is. Big seats, lots to eat, great films and freebies. We then waited an hour and took our connecting flight to Bangkok to be continued ............

Yes we paid Sidney a visit and he wasn't working so we ate there anyway, which was actually quite nice. We then met Lynn our friend from the hostel and took her to see a horny little devil we know called Quintin (pics to follow). The next day (our final day in the area) we chilled, packed then again paid Quintin another visit with Lynn to say our goodbyes. It was a very emotional time as he was totally in love with us both and wanted a threesome. So following that night out we left as we were both exhausted haaaa yeah right we are goers not really. A quick peck on the ............... cheek (although very tempted to tongue him) we left skipping up the road like you do.

The following morning, Lynne bless her heart waved us off on the Baz Bus (this picks you up and drops you off at all the hostels along the garden route). This arrived at 7.15am oh great we thought. Thinking the journey was about 2 hrs we settled into our seats and arrived 7 hours later, not realising how far it actually was. Exhausted but alive we arrived to our first garden route stop in Mossel Bay. What a place. Our accommodation was an actual train carriage located on the beach, it was tiny but they had a lovely bar and beautiful beach and the scenery was wonderful. We spent most of our time there in the bar as our hips were just not built for the entrance to the carriage so for two nights we slept on the beach ha no not really. We should have done really it was so hot in there. On Saturday night the locals were all out on the beach having Braai's (BBQ's) and making lots of noise, we just sat awaiting the sunset which did not happen so we sat there drinking until it did, which was about a day later.

So Monday arrives and off we set on only a 2 hr journey (or so we thought) to Oudtshoorn up in the mountains literally in the middle of nowhere. Once arriving George for our connection shuttle we were collected by Frouline and Helga by car to literally whiz us up and over the mountain to our hostel. It was like a brands hatch visit thank god I wasn't wearing my hairpiece this year it would have been a gonna. Anyway, a lovely place very scenic although not that near much so we have been walking up and down the hill to the only pub in town, what little soldiers. It does have it's own pool though and it is much cleaner and nicer. It was so nice to finally have a shower and hair wash after 3 days as the last place had really grim showers so we washed mainly in the sea.

Our second day here (today - Tuesday 17th) and we went to the Cango Caves which were amazing although we declined the adventure tour in the fear of getting lodged into one of the small caves then continued back down the mountain to the Cango Animal Reserve to see lions, cheetah, tigers, crocs and Aligators (pics to follow). A great morning and very worthwhile. We are now in town having a few drinks and yesterday was 45 degrees here but luckily today is only about 40 degress so quite cool ha. Early night tonight 1) because of having the climb up that god damn hill again 2) because we have wine indoors, plus we will need a little dip in our private pool before bed. What a life, by the way you lot, how is work and how cold is it there at the mo?

Tomorrow we set off yet again with rucksacks on our back (what a treat for all to see) back on the bus to the Wilderness, which we hear is fantastic. So we wish you all bon voyage for now and will be back soon.

Keep well all of you, LOL Kellie and Karen xxxxx

Ok so we didn't end up going clubbing with Frankie and Nicky as we were warned off by a couple of others we know. So, for once we decided to be sensible and stay in with some wine. At this point, we had a room with a tv so we made the most of it. We then both woke the next morning like zombies, it was probably the shock of having less to drink.

Sunday we had a nice surprise, we had arranged to meet Joleen and Shereen for some lunch, unfortunately Shereen couldn't make it but a friend of Joleen's (Liam) decided he wanted to join us and impress us, fine by us we thought as at this point in time we were found by Gerard and Gary. Gary was pissed as a fart with a yellow fang he classed as a tooth (I think he was a shark in his previous life - lucky me). They then left knowing that we had other plans and went home to smoke some marajuana - like you do. We were having a nice drink with our new friends waiting to leave on a journey of discovery when our peasant friends Gerard and Gary returned to invite us round for a Braai (BBQ). Thankfully we had been saved by Joleen and Liam's offer so off we went into the sunset to the 12 Apposals hotel for champers and cocktails. We then went to Mariners Wharf in Houts Bay for a seafood platter - nice. What a lovely day. We then went to see Shereen and Jimbob, gatecrashing their quiet Sunday evening and then went to La Med in Clifton which I might add, was like a beer festival. A vast difference from the day we had experienced so left and did another pub crawl getting home at 4.00am.

Monday just chilled by the pool and went for a few drinks, very tame - what good girls we are when we try.

Tuesday we went to Table Mountain. What a fab experience, it was red hot and the views were sensational. Highly recommended. The cable car was a bit scary since the mountain is 1085m high and each car carries 65 passengers, well in our case 61 ha. We sat on the top of the mountain with our bottle of wine in hand (like the couple of wino's that we are) and took in the views. We then went on the red bus tour which took us round Sandy Bay (the nudist beach) no don't worry your little heads we did not indulge we didn't think it fair to our public ha especially as they think we are hot stuff. The bus tour was good we think as we both dozed off through most of the route. We heard it was good though. Home for a drink and chill on the balcony. Whilst pouring a drink in the kitchen we heard the delightful story that a girl had seen a rat the night before run across the kitchen, strangely enough the rat man then arrived to say oh actually I think I can smell one. That was a prompt enough for us to bolt up the stairs and hide on the other balcony. Later that night we heard that the owner had killed Roland's mate Errol with a broom - I am loving this place.

Wednesday we went to the pool and layed in the hot hot sun then went to Camps Bay to watch the sunset. Whilst there we met another new pal called Billy. He owns bars and restaurants and gave us his number to contact whilst in Thailand as he will be there for some time too. "Don't think we won't call you cause we will" and laughed he too laughed but looked quite worried that we actually meant it. We then went to see our friemd Bernice who had had a row with her co worker and had left so we did another pub crawl and bumped into a guy called Sidney who has insisted we visit his restaurant for a free meal. We are therefore off there tomorrow to collect the goods.

Again, never a dull moment we will be back soon...............

Ps. Did I mention that when on our hot dates with Garard and Gary I fell asleep on a sofa in one of the bars, when Gerard attempted to wake me I jumped up quick, once realising this was not urgent I went to go back to sleep and smashed my eyebrow bone on the arm of the chair. I am such a classy chick it's unreal.

Oh and we were also offered yellow skunk and hash when walking down the road. Sorry do we look the type to smoke that crap, obviously we do oh ok fair enough ha.

Well the day before our trip in usual Kellie fashion I fell down the stairs and got the largest bruise on my backside you have ever seen and was in agony and went to bed with a bag of frozen brussel sprouts strapped to my arse - typical.

How excited we were. Maria brought Karen to mine we opened our champagne to celebrate our travels and off we went. We then had a surprise visit from Catherine at the airport to wave us off - very sweet.

The trip was fine, although somewhat long, but we arrived safely to the basking heat of South Africa welcomed at the airport by a steel band. It was very moving.

When arriving at the hostel we were in pure shock when we saw our room, we just looked at each other in horror. However, we have now adapted to a life of peasantry and have fitted in nicely. The people here are very friendly so that makes things alot easier and as usual we have spoken to everyone.

On the second night at the hostel after being out partying we went to the balcony for some air. I opened the door to go back inside and a big rat ran past my leg and bounded up the corridor. To me it looked like a leopard since rats are one of my worst nightmares so I jumped on the couch and Karen ran back onto the balcony and closed the door and left me in with the rat. Charming. We were so not impressed by this visitor and complained the next day. Luckily we have not seen any since as the pest control have been in although last night we saw 3 outside so bolted up the stairs hmmmm not good.

The transport is very good, they have Pitstops (like camper vans) which you just flag down hop on and off wherever you want to go. They are like mobile discos the music is so loud and quite often you end up sitting on a complete strangers lap. Still not many are stranger than us so who cares.

So far we have been to Simonstown by train. A lovely place which they call Penguin Island. There is a Penguin retreat but they literally come up to you on the beach. It's amazing and very lovely.

We have also been to Muizenberg by train again a lovely beach with crashing waves. A great place with warmer seas but very windy so mouthfuls of sand on occasion but still worth a look.

A boat trip to Robbens Island where Mandela was held prisoner for 27 years. A much bigger place then we thought. It is scorching for one plus there are all different animals like Penguins, Seals, wild birds and deer just to name a few. Certain parts are closed but young children still go there to the school and there are 152 people that actually live there. The stories of the prisoners were very moving and we were escorted around by an ex inmate who told us about his personal experiences along with the story of Mandela. We also saw Mandela's cell which was literally like a hole.

We have made some friends in several of our locals bars who are so nice and friendly and have really watched our backs. We have settled in nicely and spent the day out last week with a few of them at the Waterfront. This is literally where the harbour is and consists of bars, restaurants, live bands and a shopping centre. A really nice place to spend the day.

The man front. A few days ago we popped to a pub where we met a couple of guys. One was rather keen on me (Kellie) whose name was Gary and a few nights later we met another guy (who was very keen on Karen) called Gerard. Gary then walked in to the bar and Gerard knew him - what a small world. We ended up being out with them until 5am. The next day, Gerard came to the hostel to make sure we were home and left his number. We were busy and didn't have time to call him. So the following day he knocked on our door and invited us out with them that evening. When we met them (a very stylish hour late) Gerard was being rather moody and annoying so he went off with the strop as we were not laughing at his crap jokes. Gary stayed for a bit then off he went. As usual, they did not buy a drink so we went off. We then bumped into a guy we had already met called Alvin who introduced us to some other people with whom we were then out until 7am. No wonder we are looking like hell ha.
Karen then met another guy called Nick who did buy a drink but turned our to be a druggie so not such a catch after all. All in all there are some quite cute guys here but so far we are just observing from afar until we are ready to go in for the kill.

Going back to Gary (my stalker) we went into a bar last night and the barmaid told us that Gary's mum had been in looking to meet me can you believe it ha. He's in loveeeeeeee haaaaaaa. I do get them.

Tonight we are going clubbing with our new friend Frankie (the queer)and Nicky a girl he works with in the sushi bar. I don't think I will be eating in there haaaa. We are going to a club called Hemosphere so all will be revealed to you on our next blog visit.